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November 11, 2015
Quick Relaxation Tool
Go to Your Happy Place
Fortunately, and unfortunately, our brains are not all that smart. The brain is very good at taking care of things we need to run on autopilot, such as breathing, making our hearts beat, etc. The brain loves running other tasks automatically, as well. Thinking and behavior patterns get ingrained pretty deeply in our brains.
The brain believes a lot of what we tell it to believe. You can see how this can be a good thing and how this can be a bad thing. Think about all the negative programming we receive on a daily basis.
Anxiety stems from our brains believing scary messages we tell ourselves, even if nothing stressful is actually happening to us at the moment.
The good news is that we can also use our brain's love of automation to our advantage. We can work on programming our brains with positive messages. The brain can be programmed to be calm. I'm not saying this is easy. As with everything, relaxation takes practice. With more practice, however, comes more automation.
I recommend daydreaming. Daydreaming, or positive visualization, creates a positive message for your brain. The more realistic you make your daydream, the more your brain believes it. Take time every day to go to your happy place - anywhere that's relaxing and pleasant for you.
Would you like to go somewhere relaxing today? Click on the link or image below for a guided daydream.
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A story, which may appropriately belong to the files of “urban legends,” tells about a Philadelphia legal firm that sent flowers to an associate in Baltimore upon the opening of its new offices. Through some mix-up, the ribbon that bedecked the floral piece read, “Deepest Sympathy.”
When the florist was informed of her mistake, she let out a cry of alarm. “Good grief! Then the flowers that went to the funeral said, “Congratulations on Your New Location”!
It is difficult enough to offer comfort without mixing up the sentiment. So difficult, in fact, that many people simply don’t know what to say to someone who has just unburdened grief or emotional pain. Not unlike the new clergyman who, when a distressed young woman confided that she was pregnant, blurted out, “Are you sure it’s yours?”
Too often, we want to help, but find that our attempts to offer comfort, solace or hope fall short of the mark. But there is something we CAN say to those who hurt that can be helpful and comforting.
One man, whose grandson died accidentally, found genuine comfort when he shared his pain with friends shortly after the tragedy. Of all the well-meaning words of support, two statements helped to sustain and comfort him through the grief more than the rest. They were: “Thank you for sharing your pain,” and “I grieve with you.” After hearing those words, he no longer felt alone in his suffering. He felt as if his friends embraced his grief. He felt better.
“Thank you for sharing your pain” is an honest acknowledgment of another’s suffering. It also expresses an appreciation for the effort it takes a wounded soul to open her emotional wounds to others.
“I grieve with you” is an expression of empathy. It is a way of saying that I am willing to share some of your pain, even for a time.
We can’t fix it. We shouldn't try to offer advice. And we may never know how someone feels who is hurting in a way we have never experienced. But we can give some comfort.
I think James Angell, former president of the University of Michigan, got it right when he was asked the secret of his success. “The secret of success?” he replied. “Grow antennae, not horns.”
~ Steve Goodier of LifeSupportSystem.com
Always keep in mind that a low-stress lifestyle never "just happens." Practicing relaxation and stress management techniques every day is the key to success. The more you practice, the more automatic it becomes.
Stay in the (k)now,
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