Here's an odd self-esteem tip: avoidance. We all have people in our lives that act as cheerleaders and who are great for our self-esteem. We also often have people around us who bring us down. Or maybe it's a particular place or situation that makes you feel inadequate or self-conscious. It's important to be aware of these people, places, and situations that will bring you down. When you know who and what they are, you can guard against them and if possible avoid them.
Your self-confidence takes the biggest hit when you are unaware of the person or situation you're walking into. When you feel blind-sided, it hurts, it and it's hard to recover and rebuild your self-esteem and courage. I like to think of how these people, places, and situations affect us as negative energy. Your first task is to become aware of this negative energy and realize where it's coming from before it hits you. By simply being aware you avoid being surprised. Try it.
Once you are aware of what or who is bringing you down, you can
start to guard against it. The basic idea is to neutralize the negative
energy that's being send your way. One of my favorite ways of doing this
is to expect it going in and realizing what's causing it. For example,
if your cousin always gives you a hard time about your weight, it may
help to realize that she's putting you down because she's not happy with
her own life. If you feel judged at a local club by a group of people,
it helps to know that they may be doing it to make themselves feel
better. Realizing this going in will go a long way towards neutralizing
things. Of course, another way to guard yourself is to do what you can
avoid interacting with the people that bring you down and of course
avoiding the places and situations that make you feel bad.
Last but not least, avoiding people, places, and situations that will bring you down is always an option. If you know a conversation with your sister will make you feel less confident, or you feel judged when going to a certain bar or club, avoid those people and places for now. I'm not saying you have to cut them out indefinitely. Instead, take a break and focus on building up your confidence and your self-esteem. When you're ready, you can go back to spending time with those people or hanging out at those places and see how it goes. Often the experience is completely different for you when you approach it in a confident manner.
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