The Negatives of Self Improvement

The negatives of self improvement: Like anything in life there is always going to be the good and the bad. Roses are beautiful and they have a wonderful fragrance. However, many have thorns that can pierce even the thickest of leather gardening/ work gloves.

The Negatives of Self Improvement

Understand that there is no magic pill for self-improvement. Self-improvement is a process which takes time, effort, and planning. It can't be as simple as taking the red or the blue.

We are creatures that have evolved from an early man and woman that had to fight to survive. Therefore, we learn best from pain. When you were a child, first learning how to ride the bike, your parent likely did all she could to prepare you for that first ride.


She showed you how to balance the bike, pedal, and control its direction. However, despite her best attempts at keeping you balanced, you probably fell a few times before you got the hang of balance.


Pain doesn't have to be bad, nor dysfunctional, as long as we learn from it- and as long as itís not willfully inflicted on us by others.
As you move through your plan for self-improvement, expect to fall down so that you can get back up stronger.


The negatives of self improvement: Disappointment
Every year we make resolutions, only for most of us to give up on them before February rolls around. You start with all of the enthusiasm you can possibly have to support your optimistic belief that this will finally be the year you accomplish [fill in the blank.]


Only, in the end, you end up with disappointment as your enthusiasm fades, or you fail to end up where you wanted to be.


Understand that while the concept of self-improvement can turn into something of a rabbit hole for us, it can be a powerful tool.


One of the fundamental aspects of our humanity is that we feel a need for improvement. It's possible that this comes from some archaic evolutionary survival tool for ancient men and women. While it is a useful tool, it can become toxic for those of us who see this need for improvement as a flaw.


Going back to the bike analogy: That child, be they you or someone else, approached that bike ready to learn how to ride without training wheels. He was excited. However, the first time he fell off, he probably felt a twinge of discouragement.


It's important to remember that he didn't approach that bike with the physical practical knowledge of how to balance it. He likely knew how to operate it mechanically thanks to the safety of his training wheels.


But just because he could still improve on his ability to ride without training wheels doesn't mean he was fundamentally flawed. It just means that he had room to grow, and something to learn. He had a way to improve.


The negatives of self improvement: Growth
Also, bear in mind, that like the child learning how to ride a bike with training wheels, the point of growth in self-improvement doesn't occur when the goal is reached. It occurs when we learn.


A child who is learning to ride her bike without training wheels is probably going to fall. For older generations, this entailed some form of knee skinning. Regardless, the entire experience is a teachable, and learning moment passed down from one generation to the next. For those who teach themselves such things, the experience is added to.


We tend to see our goals just beyond our reach. When we stumble while reaching it's important to remember that the stumble, or trip-up is a learning moment. Not a failure. The dark side and toxicity comes when we throw in the towel when we stumble rather than getting back up.

The negatives of self improvement: Avoid Self-Judgment
As a side note, remember that you are always going to be your strongest critic. This doesn't mean that you should judge yourself. The process of self-improvement requires honest assessment, not self-judgement, and there is a big difference.


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     Your attempt may fail but never fail to make an attempt!

As my friend was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. My friend saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

“Well,” he said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.” My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

How many of us are being held back by old, outdated beliefs that no longer serve us? How many of us have avoided trying something new because of a limiting belief? Worse, how many of us are being held back by someone else’s limiting beliefs?

Whatever you can conceive and believe, you can achieve!
CHOOSE not to accept the false boundaries and limitations created by the past.

CHANGE YOUR MIND AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE!>>>