How to find friends as an adult: When did everything change? Childhood and high school promises of staying in touch faded and became specters of the past. Not by malice, but by time itself.
As an adult, keeping friends and making them has become increasingly difficult. Somewhere along the line, life took hold of us and we grew apart. We got caught in the quagmire called “Life.”
Do you remember how quickly you were able to make friends when you were a kid? I do. It happened in the schoolyard (when I wasn’t getting picked on by bullies. But fret not, much to their surprise, this “geek” hit back.)
I also made friends at the local pond and while playing kickball. I remember launching the kickball square into the neighbor’s daughter’s face (it was an accident!). In case you were wondering, she did not become my friend.
I remember making friends occurred naturally. There weren’t any preconceived agendas.
As time passes, adult
friendships become more crucial, not just to our mental well-being, but to our
physical health as well. Studies have shown we’re not taking the time for
friends like we once did.
According to a survey taken in the 1980s, the average adult had a minimum of three close friends. Thirty years later, the same study revealed as many as one in four people claimed to have no friends at all.
Benefits of having friends: Additional studies show that having friends leads to less stress, less chance of heart disease, reduced probability of dementia, and longer lifespans. Friends listen, provide support, a different perspective, and a shoulder to cry on when necessary.
Whether or not we admit it, we all need friends. But, where do we find these new friends?
First things first, reach out to your old friends
Experience has taught me that we picked up right where we left off. It’s as if we always kept in touch. In the land of social media, it should be easy for you to reconnect with friends from the past. Once you reconnect, make every effort possible to stay in touch! Send a text, call them, email them periodically – you don’t want to be overbearing!
Try an App
I know, I just suggested social media, but I hate social media. I believe in some ways it has kept people distracted and tethered to keyboards instead of having face to face human interaction. Having said that, as with anything, there is a flip side. There are apps that specialize in people making friends. No, I am NOT referring to Tinder! If you are tech savvy, I’m sure you can Google these Apps. 'Nuff said.
Try a Meetup
If you’re better suited for group activities, Meetup.com is easy to use on your computer, tablet, or phone (I wish there was a way to find them via carrier pigeon). This site allows you to search for events of interest to you. You’re then presented with others who like to engage in those activities - giving yourself a chance to meet several people at once. If you can’t find a Meetup, start your own!
Sign up for a class at your local high school or college. This will allow you to indulge in a new interest while providing a chance for you to meet new friends. Have you ever considered cooking classes or computer classes? Whatever interests you, this is a proven way to meet new people!
Grab a Book
Your local libraries, independent bookstores, and book clubs provide intellectual stimulation and introduce you to people in the community who share a passion for reading.
Take a Walk with a Furry Friend
If you have a dog, why not break the boundaries of your backyard and get out into the world! Chances are high that you will meet new people and fur babies at your local dog park. Something tells me you will both have at least one thing in common! At the same time, it will give your faithful friend a chance for a little puppy socialization. It’s a win-win! Don’t have a dog? Consider walking your neighbor’s (dog)! Now is not the time to hold back. Finding friends as an adult can be challenging and anxiety provoking. Get out there and push yourself. Make it a priority! I have no doubt that you will be glad you did.
I may even start a kickball club. ~Ted
Did you know that regularly meeting and talking with people you know improves your brain power?
Of course, it's unlikely that you'd be looking for a wider social circle and more friends just so you can improve your chances at the quiz night, but it's nice to know that this is a recognized positive effect of good social interaction!
And not the only one.
Why we need a circle of friends
Most people looking for friendship have a vague but perhaps inarticulate sense of how having friends benefits them. They will say that they like to have congenial company, or that they don't want to be lonely.
But they perhaps don't fully understand why loneliness, apart from being no fun to experience, is actually bad for you.
The fact is, we humans are social creatures. We like nothing so much as getting together with each other (preferably with like-minded sorts).
There are some individuals who appear to prefer to live apart from other human society, on their own, but they are very much the exception. In fact, it has been shown that prolonged social isolation can cause our mental and physical faculties to deteriorate. We become "odd."
Friendships keep you sane - and bring you the unexpected
So another benefit of having good connections with other people is that it actually helps us to stay sane and balanced. It improves our life chances, too.
The more people you know, the more likely it is that someone you know, or someone they know in turn, will know someone or something that will be of benefit to you.
The wider your social circle, the better
Friendships are not unadulterated bliss, of course. There's ups and downs in any relationship, and some friendships may even turn to indifference or enmity as you go through life.
All the more reason to seek a wide circle of friends, so that if some friendships fail or end, there are always others to turn to.
Can anyone make friends? Yes.
Some people seem to have an extraordinary knack of making friends, easily connecting with others wherever they go.
This can feel daunting to those of us who have a different make-up, or who are not as experienced in making friends, but it really is true that anyone can expand their social circle and make more friends.
STEP 1: Make More friends when you know what's out there
Making more friends requires a two-pronged approach. Firstly, you need a practical means of connecting with new people with whom you might have something in common.
Local clubs, church groups, special interest groups, causes and charities are usually excellent routes to investigate. Thanks to the internet, it's now much easier to track down something that appeals to you - and even make those first vital contacts.
STEP 2: Make more friends when you use what's in there
And secondly, you need to overcome any inner inhibition, shyness, or lack of motivation and boost your determination to get out there and find those friends.
Although both aspects can present challenges, it is this matter of inner motivation and determination which people often struggle with the most. Even if you have all the practical means to hand, just how do you persuade yourself to get out there and do it?
Learn how to make friends easily with hypnosis
Hypnosis directly addresses the question of motivation and courage.
Motivation to socialize is more than mere willpower, and hypnosis allows you to access the inner subconscious resources that you need to activate to make more friends.
You will find that you can completely calm your inner qualms and uncertainties, which may have been making you feel quite anxious about the business of making friends.
You will then learn to use this deep inner calm to focus your mind and inwardly prepare to welcome more people successfully into your life, and skim over any rejections or indifference. Regular practice of this process will allow you to become fully at ease with the process of establishing a wider circle of friends.
Use hypnosis and get ready to greet your new friends:)
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