Resolving Conflict: 7 Quick Steps to Get Back On Track

Resolving conflict is a part of everyone’s life. They will happen to you eventually, and often when you least expect them. They may not be not pleasant, but they are something that you must deal with. Thankfully, there are a number of steps you can take to minimize the impact of these conflicts.

 

Resolving Conflict:
Before you do anything, cool off first

Accept Your Feelings

Start by acknowledging and accepting your feelings. Right now, you are experiencing anger, resentment, disappointment, etc. Identify the feeling first. It's not a good feeling. It sucks! Give yourself time to cool off.

Rather than remain immersed in the feeling, try to take a step back from it and observe it. Be an observer rather than a follower of the feeling. 


1.    Don’t let conflict build
Many people are afraid to confront the people causing the conflict in their life. In most cases, this will cause the situation to get much worse. The people causing conflicts will continue to act in this manner and may even get worse. When they find you won’t do anything about it, they have the upper hand.

2.    Discuss the conflict with the person or people who caused it
Try to speak with the person in private. Keeping the conversation private will make sure that you aren’t airing anyone’s dirty laundry. By keeping the meeting to yourselves, the person in conflict will be more willing to speak freely and discuss the situation.

3.   Take a break if the situation gets heated
Situations are less likely to be resolved when all the parties involved are screaming at each other. Therefore, when emotions start to elevate, schedule a follow-up meeting. This won’t always be possible as some situations need to be resolved immediately, but for heated situations that don’t require this, try to postpone the meeting.

4.   Structure a win-win when possible
Try to offer solutions where everyone wins. If that’s not possible, then find solutions that are satisfactory to everyone involved. It may not be perfect. But, if everyone goes away with something, they can feel victorious.

5.   Don’t get personal
Unless the conflict concerns someone getting personal with you, try not to get personal with other people. Conflict often arises because of certain situations that are separate from one’s personality. By staying away from getting personal, the exchange will less likely get heated.

6.   Don’t jump to conclusions
Ask questions to learn what motivated people to engage in the conflict. This can often bring to light reasons that are valid. It could also be that those who created the conflict did so without a full understanding of the situation. Asking questions can help everyone figure out where they actually stand.

7.    Don’t blindly accept what onlookers say about the situation
When others are observing a situation but are not directly involved, they may not get their facts straight. Therefore, be cautious about the information you gather from the onlookers. The information can be considered but don’t jump to conclusions. The people causing the conflict need to be heard as well.


Resolving Conflict
Remember to be good to yourself

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