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How to Manage Stress in 10 Essential Ways

Let's look at how to manage stress in 10 essential ways. Stress walks in and out of our lives but don't let it walk all over you.


What you think has big effects on your body, your environment, and those around you. You actually know this. When you watch a sad movie or recall a sad memory, you start to cry. Your thoughts affect your emotions and your body. When you think about the huge amount of work that's piling up on your desk or the meeting you have with the new boss in the morning, your heart rate speeds up and you may even feel a little sick to your stomach. You can't sleep well and, as a result, feel groggy the next day.


When your thoughts are going in a negative direction for a while, you may find yourself getting depressed and suffering from all the physical symptoms that go along with it. Thankfully, the opposite is also true. You can lift your mood by thinking positive thoughts. Study after study shows that positive thinking helps our bodies heel faster. Think about the famous placebo effect. By thinking you're getting a pill that will fix you up, your physical symptoms improve. I could go on and on. The point is that our thoughts have a direct impact on our bodies.

It doesn't stop there:
How you think and what you think also affects those around you. Think back on a time when you had a boss who was always in a good mood and had nothing but positive things to say. Then think about one that was always focusing on the negative and maybe even seemed depressed. This person can "infect" and influence an entire team. Are you starting to see why how and what you think is important and the true impact it has?

So, let's look at how to manage stress in practical terms...


How to Manage Stress:
1. Figure out where the stress is coming from

Oftentimes, when we’re stressed, it seems like a big mess with stressors appearing from every angle. We start to feel like we’re playing a game of dodge ball, ducking and darting so we don’t get smacked by a barrage of balls. We take a defensive position, and not a good one at that.

Instead of feeling like you’re flailing day to day, identify what you’re actually stressed about. Is it a specific project at work, an upcoming exam, a dispute with your boss, a heap of laundry, a fight with your family?

By getting specific and pinpointing the stressors in your life, you’re one step closer to getting organized and taking action.


How to Manage Stress:
2. Consider what you can control

While you can’t control what your boss does, what your in-laws say or the sour state of the economy, you can control how you react, how you accomplish work, how you spend your time and what you spend your money on.

The worst thing for stress is trying to take control over uncontrollable things. Because when you inevitably fail — since it’s beyond your control — you only get more stressed out and feel helpless. So after you’ve thought through what’s stressing you out, identify the stressors that you can control, and determine the best ways to take action.

Take the example of a work project. If the scope is stressing you out, talk it over with your supervisor or break the project down into step-wise tasks and deadlines.

Stress can be paralyzing. Doing what’s within your power moves you forward and is empowering and invigorating.


How to Manage Stress:
3. Do what you love

It’s so much easier to manage pockets of stress when the rest of your life is filled with activities you love. Even if your job is stress central, you can find one hobby or two that enrich your world. What are you passionate about? If you’re not sure, experiment with a variety of activities to find something that’s especially meaningful and fulfilling.


How to Manage Stress:
4. Manage your time

One of the biggest stressors for many people is lack of time. Their to-do list expands, while time flies. How often have you wished for more hours in the day or heard others lament their lack of time?

We all have the same 168 hours, and yet there are plenty of people who are dedicated parents and full-time employees and who get at least seven hours of sleep a night and lead fulfilling lives.


How to Manage Stress:
5. Create a Toolbox

One stress-shrinking strategy won’t work for all your problems. For instance, while deep breathing is helpful when you’re stuck in traffic or hanging at home, it might not rescue you during a business meeting.

Because stress is complex,  we need is a toolbox that’s full of techniques that we can fit and choose for the stressor in the present moment. Here are some great ideas to get you started => Relaxation Techniques


How to Manage Stress:
6. Pick off the negotiables

Review your daily and weekly activities to see what you can pick off your plate.  Do your kids really love their extracurricular activities, or are they doing them to please you? Are you volunteering for too many causes, and so stealing time from the ones where you could make the most impact? Does your whole department really need to meet once per week or have that daily conference call?

Do my activities mesh with my goals and values? Am I doing things that give my life meaning? Am I doing the right amount of things?

Reducing your stack of negotiable tasks can greatly reduce your stress.


How to Manage Stress:
7. Are you leaving yourself vulnerable to stress?

Whether you perceive something as a stressor depends in part on your current state of mind and body. That is, each transaction we’re involved in takes place in a very specific context that’s affected by our health, sleep, psychoactive substances, whether we’ve had breakfast that day and whether  or not we’re physically fit.

So if you’re not getting sufficient sleep or physical activity during the week, you may be leaving yourself extra susceptible to stress. When you’re sleep-deprived, sedentary and filled to the brim with coffee, even the smallest stressors can have a huge impact.


How to Manage Stress:
8. Preserve good boundaries

If you’re a people-pleaser like me, saying no feels like you’re abandoning someone, have become a terrible person or are throwing all civility out the window. But of course that couldn’t be further from the truth. Plus, those few seconds of discomfort are well worth avoiding the stress of taking on an extra activity or doing something that doesn’t contribute value to your life.

One thing I’ve noticed about productive, happy people is that they’re very protective of their time and having their boundaries crossed. But not to worry: Building boundaries is a skill you can learn.


How to Manage Stress:
9. Realize there's a difference between caring and worrying

Sometimes, our mindset can boost stress, so a small issue mushrooms into a pile of problems. We continue worrying, somehow thinking that this is a productive — or at least inevitable — response to stress.  We mistake worry for action.

Clinical psychologist Chad LeJeune, Ph.D, talks about the idea of worrying versus caring: “Worrying is an attempt to exert control over the future by thinking about it,” whereas caring is taking action. “When we are caring for someone or something, we do the things that support or advance the best interests of the person or thing that we care about.”

LeJeune uses the simple example of houseplants. He writes: “If you are away from home for a week, you can worry about your houseplants every single day and still return home to find them brown and wilted. Worrying is not watering.”

Similarly, fretting about your finances does nothing but get you worked up (and likely prevent you from taking action). Caring about your finances, however, means creating a budget, paying bills on time, using coupons and reducing how often you dine out.

Just this small shift in mindset from worrying to caring can help you adjust your reaction to stress. To see this distinction between worrying and caring, LeJeune includes an activity where readers list responses for each one. For example:

  • Worrying about your health involves…
  • Caring about your health involves…
  • Worrying about your career involves…
  • Caring about your career involves…

How to Manage Stress:
10. Embrace mistakes - or at least don't drown in perfectionism

Another mindset that can exacerbate stress is perfectionism. Trying to be mistake-free and essentially spending your days walking on eggshells is exhausting and anxiety-provoking. Talk about putting pressure on yourself! And as we all know but tend to forget: Perfectionism is impossible and not human, anyway.

As researcher Brene Brown writes in her book: “Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth” and it’s not self-improvement.

Nothing good can come from perfectionism. Brown writes: “Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction and life-paralysis [all the opportunities we miss because we’re too afraid to put anything out in the world that could be imperfect].”

Plus, mistake-making can lead to growth. To overcome perfectionism, Brown suggests becoming more compassionate toward yourself. I couldn’t agree more! ~ parts adapted via PsychCentral.com


How to Manage Stress:
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